carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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