I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
