if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
