So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
