I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he thought i was a dude.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
