a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
