My room smells like vodka and shame
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I am one with the molecules
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
