What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
