I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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