You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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