I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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