I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
