the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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