so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
