My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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