He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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