It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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