By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
