he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
