i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
