she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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