Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
