I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
