And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
