i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I want to fling myself into the sun
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
