no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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