the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
