Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
