And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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