she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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