In America we eat man semen.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Well I just put wine in my tea
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
