Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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