Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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