So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
