I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
