TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize