This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
