I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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