He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
