I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I did not marry a roomba.
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