We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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