everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
