She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
