i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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