Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
