I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
