Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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