The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
