She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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