The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
what day is it and did you see me today?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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