Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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