I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Drake has all the answers
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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