Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We had to coat check the pizza.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Couch. On fire.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
