How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
