shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
