i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
